I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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