I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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