i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
