It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
