his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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