I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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