Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
