There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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