I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
