he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
high people should be assigned attendants
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You are the jesus of drinking
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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