I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
