Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize