i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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