I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We are all done wearing pants today
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
