if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
