i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
