Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
