Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
