I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
