Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
