if you like me you must not know who I am
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
