Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
