I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
