yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize