you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
