Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize