I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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