She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
