i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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