That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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