When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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