if i died would you start the facebook group?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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