The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
