I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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