We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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