Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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