I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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