Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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