yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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