Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
