whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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