Christians are straight up FREAKS
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
