No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize
