overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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