But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
