The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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