she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize