How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
