Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
