I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
