Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
