no, he came in my armpit
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
