I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
