You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
