At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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