So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
