I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
