this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
