fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
