dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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