im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
