I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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