cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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