Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
