i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
