It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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