Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You are a genius and a whore.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
